How many of these bad boys did your parents use on you?
As we grow up our parents love to throw out the odd quip and sarcastic remark to guide us along our way.
Things that used to annoy the hell of me now strike a chord as an adult.
How many of these have you heard from your parents?
Was you born in a barn?
‘Shut the door’.
This could also be translated as ‘put wood inth’ole’ – put the wood in the hole for those south of Yorkshire – depending on how hilarious mum was feeling that day.
I can still remember rolling my eyes and throwing out the standard tut every time I heard it, but now I pay for the heating myself I totally get it.
Why waste money heating a room if you’re just going to let all the heat straight back out?
Am I in some sort of competition with Blackpool Illuminations?
‘Turn the bloody lights off!’
Ah yes, when parents (especially in the North) were showing their displeasure at the amount of lights left on.
If mum was out she could regularly return to a fully illuminated house with barely anyone in it.
And she was right, there’s no point burning money for the hell of it – touché mum, touché.
Would you put your arse in the fire if your friends did it?
‘You don’t always have to do what everyone else is doing’.
Ahhh, a lesson in peer pressure, and my own personal Jackie Taylor favourite.
I would often try and throw in ‘but they get to do it’ ,or ‘they did it too’.
Neither washed with my mother and she would always present me with this old classic.
Looking back mum was right again.
I wouldn’t put my arse in the fire just because my friends did.
Make your own mind up, follow your own path, don’t be a sheep.
You’re either in or you’re out, but you’re not in and out all day!
‘Make you’re bloody mind up, I just want a few minutes peace either way’.
I, like most kids, had this obsession with running in and out of the house for every little thing.
Admittedly, I didn’t understand how little time my mum had to relax bringing up three kids on her own.
You know you’re going to use this one on your kids, right?
Ask me if I’m bothered David
‘Shut your whingeing up, nothing you can possible say is swaying this argument in your favour’.
You will accept my final word and like it.
A good lesson in not always getting your own way.
Do I look like I’m made of money?
‘I know damn well you’re pushing your luck and there’s something you like that is cheaper’.
There were no flies on my mum, she knew I always had a few items up my sleeve and it was all about which one she gave in on!
I want doesn’t get!
‘Don’t ask for anything when we leave this house, I’ll treat you if I think your behavior warrants it’.
If that shopping trip went smoothly, I’d get that reward, but not until.
Let me go and grab some cash from the money tree!
‘Sorry David the pot’s dry and whatever it is you think you need can wait!’
I had a bad habit of saying ‘I need this’, or ‘I need that’.
What I meant was I want that, and nothing could send Jackie over the edge at the end of the month quite like it!
There’s choc ices in the fridge!
‘There is no need to buy something we already have in the freezer’.
i.e. Forget the ice-cream van, it ain’t happening!
Please refer back to ‘Do I look like I’m made of money?’
I’ve had it up to here with you (complete with salute gesture)
‘You’ve gone and done it good and proper now Mr’.
This is when, as we say in Manchester, you hit legs!
Run for your life, mum can’t take any more of your shizzle.
Poor Jackie.
Final word
Annoying as they were at the time, these sayings all had a good meaning behind them, which is possibly why you’ll pas them down to your own kids.
They really did know best didn’t they?
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“Ask me if I’m bothered David” – Hilarious! 😀 Some of these sound exactly like my mother-in-law and some sound like me (shudders) 🙂
I could quite easily do a part two of this. “I’m sick to the back teeth of you now!” Hahaha