Having spent most of the weekend in the man flu danger-zone, by the time Monday afternoon was upon us, feeling very sorry for myself, I simply couldn’t wait any longer so I put up the Christmas tree.
It has been greeted with the usual bah-humbug over on Facebook, but as a former fully paid up member of the Grinch Brigade it’s not something that bothers me.
I too was once a miserable Christmas killjoy for many years, it wasn’t something that held the best memories for me to be honest, and I really struggled to get into the spirit.
Then back in April 2014 I received a phone call from my sister from another mister to give me some unbelievable news, I was going to be an uncle the following December – and just like that, I loved Christmas again!
Now I’m back in love with Christmas I’ll put my tree up when I bloody well like and I couldn’t give a flying flap jack what you have to say about it, so here are 5 reasons why my Christmas tree is none of your beeswax.
Elf vs Reindeer debate
You’ve probably already seen the meme doing the rounds on Facebook.
You know the one which claims for every day a Christmas tree goes up before December an Elf kills a reindeer – I want to dispel this particular Christmas myth once and for all.
Everyone knows that reindeer don’t exist, if they did they’d have been in Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones, plus, even if they did, Elves are too kind to kill them anyway – eegits.
Did you care about my decor a week ago?
I’m quietly confident if it had been discovered that I’d been smearing my own living room walls with cow dung for the last month, maybe one in ten of you would have messaged to check on my mental health.
So why is my Christmas tree such an issue for you Mr & Mrs Misery Guts?
Smile, take your moody pants off and just think, it’s only a few weeks to go until you can get your own back on me by posting for recommendations for every tiny, little Christmas related thing fifteen times daily instead of taking a minute to check Google yourself – innit?
We’re happier people
Yep, experts have concluded those who put up their Christmas decoration earlier are happier people.
Give it a try, let your inner child out, winter is miserable enough without you going all Victor Meldrew on us.
Imagine what a nicer place it would be living in a world full of Phoebe Buffays!
I’m saving money with the Christmas tree up
I’ve needed to buy furniture for my living room for approaching a year, having the Christmas decorations up filling all the space means I’ve got the excuse to put off sticking my hand in my pocket for another two months.
Who’s stupid now?
I’m not harming anyone
As far as I’m aware, I haven’t broken into your house to steal the family silver, kicked your kitten in the face or called your children ugly, so let me be happy in my Chritsmassy goodness for two months.
Christmas is only once a year after all, and come January 6 we can all get back to squabbling over politics for ten months again.