Would You Be Willing To Upset A Friend To Stop Them Committing Financial Suicide?

As a money blogger and a former employee of the debt industry, I’m in a fair few money related Facebook groups.

If someone has a financial related query I’m happy to offer the best advice I can, if I don’t know the answer I’ll keep schtum and try and point them in the right direction for the correct advice.

Facebook groups like these are a great way for people to speak out loud to others in similar circumstances, those who have clawed their way out of debt, and people with knowledge of debt and finance in general.

I’m usually quite impressed with the advice from everyday members of the public who help out  with advice using their own personal experience, let’s face it, there’s nothing quite like hearing it straight from the horse’s mouth.

However, this week I found myself sat, wide eyed and chewing my fist with rage at some of the ‘advice’ I was seeing, and not for the reasons you might think.

Would you risk pissing someone off to prevent them from committing financial suicide?

So, a concerned person in one particular group had a close friend in an IVA who had come into a money windfall and was considering not reporting it to their IVA Supervisor.

Anyone familiar with insolvency, or someone going through the process themselves, will know that you MUST declare any windfalls that come your way, whether that be a lotto win, granny croaking it and leaving you some inheritance, PPI money or a win on a scratch card.

ANY windfall must be reported to your IVA Supervisor – the end!

‘Concerned person’ had a feeling it wasn’t as easy as dodging informing their Supervisor and was extremely worried it would lead to trouble.

She was right.

Right to be concerned, and right that they were on their way to shit street when it gets picked up.

However, the general consensus was “mind your own business” and “don’t interfere”. One even suggesting she may be jealous at the other person’s good fortune!

Are you seriously yanking my chain here?

When, not if, that windfall is detected it’s game over for the IVA, you’ve broke the terms of your contract and guess what? You’re back to square one mate!

Any payments that you have made will only cover the fees you’ve paid your Supervisor, your debt level is the same as when you started, and your creditors may even backdate the interest that was frozen under the terms of the IVA. If you own a property, you could be forced to sell it under a bankruptcy order.

Could you sit back and watch someone you care about commit financial suicide?

Let me be clear by saying I feckin’ well couldn’t, no questions asked, not arsed one bit.

I’m the type of guy who would prefer you to momentarily fall out with me, than sit back and watch you floating up shit creek without a paddle.

Without any hesitation, I’d tell you straight, DO NOT even go there, and the risk that you threw a hissy fit at me wouldn’t deter me in the slightest.

The same would go for any given I thought could potentially wreck your finances.

I think there’s a huge difference between poking your nose in and attempting to prevent someone you know and care about committing financial suicide – in my humble opinion anyway.

The famous UK money taboo

When are we going to shove the UK stiff upper lip where the sun doesn’t shine and start talking about finance more?

I mean, it’s kind of ridiculous that we still find it such a taboo subject in 2017 don’t you think?

I’m not suggesting you should disclose every single detail of your financial life to anyone, but if you need help, speak out.  

It’s not a major embarrassment to have fallen on hard times, it happens to the best of us, including some very famous billionaires, getting the right advice and help as quickly as possible is the main thing.

If you’re ever confronted with a situation where you feel you ought to say something to a friend or family member I’d ask yourself this question.

Could you live with yourself seeing someone you care about in financial ruin knowing you could have said something that prevented it?

Unfortunately, sometimes tough love is the only way.

Final word

The one blogging thing I’m ashamed of is the lack of practical debt solutions advice I have written about on Thinking Thrifty, especially considering I worked in the industry for years, I apologise profusely!

Until there is nothing left in the memory bank, I will be getting as much practical advice about various debt solutions and help you can get to put you back on track as quickly possible.

In the meantime, anything you can’t find on here I would urge to look for on Debt Camel. Sara has forgotten more about debt and finance than most people will ever know, so utilise her expertise if you’ve found yourself in a hole, or are looking for practical advice, be that for yourself or someone you know.  

If you’re looking for inspiration from someone who has tackled debt head on and won, go and check out Disease Called Debt and I Beat Debt to see it can be done!

Just don’t bury your head, and if you are a concerned family member or friend, consider the fact that you may have to show balls and say something for the greater good.

Would you be willing to speak up to prevent someone from committing financial suicide?

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David Naylor is the editor of the Thinking Thrifty blog. An award winning personal finance and lifestyle blogger, he shows how it is possible to live extremely well for less.
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2 thoughts on “Would You Be Willing To Upset A Friend To Stop Them Committing Financial Suicide?

  1. Thanks for the kind comment!

    I am a huge believer in straight talking, people need to know the facts. And that also means saying when something is likely to happen , not just when it might.

    You can be sympathetic, empathetic, friendly, on their side, but you don’t help someone if you don’t give them good advice.

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