Hey Fatty Bum Bum: The Tragic Before Pictures

The kettlebell is here, there are no more excuses left to extinguish, it’s time for the tragic before pictures.

Under no circumstances would I usually show off my mooby glory to anyone, well unless I had after pictures that showed a certain degree of success anyway.

But if there is one thing many bloggers come to realise, it’s putting you shiz in the public domain keeps you accountable, whether it’s for saving and spending less, or shifting you gigantic man breasts.

My good blogging pal Lynn of Mrs Mummy Penny fame has inspired me to show the world what I’m attempting to come back from, as she so bravely did here.

It’s been a while since my gut has reached such tremendous levels of podge, as you can probably see from my ‘rather fetching’ side profile picture.

Only possessing the ability to look down on that bad boy was nowhere near adequate enough to prepare me for the shock I’ve just had now PK has taken the before pictures for me to cast my disappointed eyes upon.

Sweet baby Jesus, that has come from nowhere!

But, now the shock is over, well, almost over, it really is time to start cracking on with getting rid of it.

I’m down to two t-shirts which fit, I’m lying, they don’t fit, nothing fits, and this is why I HAVE to get serious about removing this unwanted chunk.

I look like I’m expecting twins, Stella and Bow as they’re affectionately known in our gaff – let’s see if you can workout how they came to be named as such. 

When you can feel numerous areas of your body jiggling as you walk down a flight of stairs, shit starts to get extremely real.

The plan

I’m notorious for having an all or nothing mentality.

I either don’t bother to exercise at all for months, even years on end, or throw myself into some ridiculous, unrealistic routine that Conor McGregor would struggle to keep up with, causing injury and misery in equal measure.

This time there will be no gung-ho Billy big balls type attitude, I need to be realistic with my current capabilities, I’m overweight, totally out of shape and my fitness levels have seen much better days – let’s be completely frank about this.

I’ve worked out a power walking route as I detest running in any form.

In fact the only time you’re likely to see me running is if somebody announces my dinner is ready or it’s their round at the bar.

Once complete, I’ll be on a twenty minute kettlebell routine to get me going.

So, the before pictures I promised you.

Behold mooby dick!

The kettlebell is here, there are no more excuses left to extinguish, it's time for the tragic before pictures.

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David Naylor is the editor of the Thinking Thrifty blog. An award winning personal finance and lifestyle blogger, he shows how it is possible to live extremely well for less.
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